Casey's Head on Stuff

You weren't invited because I loved you so

2010-11-20T16:46:00.003-06:00

I wish you were more scared, because I am scared and I think it's weird that you aren't scared at all. It makes me think that you are too stupid to be scared, and that scares me.

These times are dwindling times

2010-03-17T15:04:00.001-05:00

What'd I tell you? Dogdammit. I hate you.

4. This jelldier

2009-10-17T15:43:00.003-05:00

I am in love with this dog. Look at its face! I can't STAND it. Up and died!

Of Course It's Pig Destroyer

2009-07-10T12:57:00.002-05:00

Your horrorpop tastes more like pussymetal. Where's your head at?

i didn't do it

2009-03-09T18:51:00.001-05:00

Turn that frown (oh, and also every single thing in your office) upside down.

Where's your head at?

2009-02-26T15:39:00.002-06:00

Sustainable hamburgers.

Hordes/Horns/Audrey/Horndog/AppleCore

2009-01-16T20:41:00.001-06:00

don't you fucking dare say "Baltimore," you worthless waste of a chipmunk.

Clap your hands say yeah, i enjoyed it but it could have been better

2009-01-08T14:35:00.002-06:00

I felt sad when I wrote this but looking back on it now, it all seems so stupid.

With you, with you, with you, with you

2009-01-08T14:16:00.004-06:00

I hope for something different this time.

Purple Girl in a Bad Situation

2008-12-12T22:50:00.001-06:00

Blackout, black in. Back out? Backed in, Bacchan. Bacon, Blanket, back in.

World Split in Two

2008-12-12T22:20:00.003-06:00

Help me find this green bracelet.

Ralph Nadir

2008-12-06T22:02:00.001-06:00

they oughta call you footlong.

Break Components

2008-12-03T17:48:00.004-06:00

Vroom! Vroom! I'm driving this car right off the cliff!

Head on Demand

2008-12-03T13:20:00.001-06:00

Yummers, yeppers, yipes, yikes, yippee, yowza, yeah.

Headsplitting

2008-12-02T14:22:00.003-06:00

All I need is a toothbrush and some sexy panties, right?

/b/

2008-11-23T19:21:00.005-06:00

Trouble. I am called trouble.

killing dreams since 1982

2008-11-22T22:10:00.003-06:00

Nothing makes me hate people like people.

Meme Dream

2008-11-22T21:09:00.002-06:00

A democratic China might work, but Chinese Democracy still sucks 20 bags of dicks.

A Comprehensive List of Unlawful Activities According to the Laws of the United States of America and All Its Subsidiaries, Enemies, and Protectorates

2008-11-22T20:43:00.003-06:00

I love caffeine. I love daggers. I love paint thinner. I love full bathtubs. I love toasters.

Follow through to the back of the skull

2008-11-16T11:47:00.005-06:00

i'm not listening to you because i am a website and i don't have ears and you are a crazy person anyways.

Llama? Alpaca even know her!

2008-10-30T11:49:00.003-05:00

Let's cut school and ride a roller coaster.

this drone could go on forever and i'd...never mind.

2008-10-25T20:36:00.001-05:00

hum if you don't know the words.

Past a wasted pastor

2008-10-25T20:11:00.001-05:00

love does and doesn't have to end up bloody.

Come plane

2008-10-16T15:03:00.001-05:00

Bitchin' moan.

dis pair

2008-10-05T12:15:00.003-05:00

there's always next year?

Everybody is a complete fucking jerk

2008-10-04T19:33:00.003-05:00

You are a complete fucking jerk.

Childish

2008-09-29T17:45:00.003-05:00

If women were currency I would be only a little more sexist.

They're sideways over there, right

2008-09-28T13:15:00.003-05:00

aaaaaaand i just don't care one root-scoot-tootin' hoot. no, about that other thing.

...among us

2008-09-27T17:46:00.003-05:00

Everyone got so old. And here I was still believing in people.

Tough titty

2008-09-27T16:44:00.002-05:00

You are a bad man and I am a bad, bad man.

Powder Outage Causes Shiny-Nosed Outrage

2008-09-25T13:07:00.004-05:00

if you're in utero, you are very stupid and can't talk.

Popular at last

2008-09-22T21:09:00.006-05:00

In movies, when the characters are floating down a river and everything is peaceful, one of them usually says "whats that" and then they hit a waterfall. In real life, there is no such thing as peaceful.

Tom Waits for no man

2008-09-22T19:02:00.002-05:00

He did a good job. Let's all celebrate that, okay? He did a good job, and nobody cares that he failed at it. Nobody should mention that failure.

smash slag

2008-09-22T18:25:00.003-05:00

From the $3.50 porn bin.

Rooster Blocked

2008-09-21T14:06:00.003-05:00

Here's an idea! Eat shit, die, and come over for dinner when you're done with the shit-eating and dying. It'll be more fun than that time when I beat the living shit out of you. And that was fucking FUN.

Incorrection

2008-09-21T13:16:00.003-05:00

Emote! Feel! Show! Everything! Everyone wants to hear!

Knight Co.

2008-09-20T17:56:00.001-05:00

Ian, freeze. Ah, fuck it.

Pearl Bracelet

2008-09-20T17:31:00.003-05:00

There is no way to do that. There is absolutely no way at all. Just go away. Go away.

you're a fixture in my least favorite scene

2008-09-19T23:38:00.000-05:00

when i tasted you i spit you out. you were delicious.

SACK

2008-09-19T23:22:00.000-05:00

I just won't do lunges.

All is drear

2008-09-18T12:49:00.001-05:00

We all die. And no, there is no afterlife. And the election is rigged.

Ten thousand parents will bury their children today. Tomorrow they'll do the same.

Happy birthday to you.

Contraption

2008-09-16T21:18:00.000-05:00

Turn that frown upside down. God how painful that will be. How I'll smile.

Caught

2008-09-15T19:17:00.000-05:00

I crush oranges.

dreamboat

2008-09-14T15:08:00.000-05:00

I thanked god that there were more lesbians than me, thanked god a'mighty. Then i returned to my hedonistic and utterly secular lesbian fuckfest.

Don't be dead

2008-09-14T14:52:00.001-05:00

when i said i'd like to hang out with him i wasn't talking about mutual suicide. apparently he was, and that's why i'm writing this from the afterlife.

it's not so bad. the dread is gone.

Kenneth's frequency = 586 MHz

2008-09-14T13:43:00.001-05:00

Tropical ointment!

attempt no landings

2008-09-13T19:34:00.000-05:00

The old people left, at least.

We eyed the allies but the ayes were lies

2008-09-13T18:24:00.000-05:00

you're spattered like batter on a brillo pad. accents or mockeries, there's no difference. the romance, it started in your pants and ended in divorce.

nerver

2008-09-13T15:24:00.000-05:00

I was absolutely perplexed when you burst out of my head fully formed but when I was able to think clearly again I was less perplexed and more IN TREMENDOUS PAIN BECAUSE OW MY HEAD

Last Bastard

2008-09-12T22:00:00.000-05:00

you having sex with me? i'm used to it.

fstr pls

2008-09-12T21:23:00.000-05:00

So there is a fire.

Terminal Beef

2008-08-31T12:07:00.000-05:00

everyone get out. when you come back it'll be a disgustingly blank slate. scratch out another two years of subsistence and we'll do it all again!

Literalcy

2008-08-30T18:42:00.000-05:00

On a scale of 1 to 5, what's 3 + 3?

Bested

2008-08-29T23:11:00.000-05:00

The day is young, but that doesnt mean you can touch it you sick fuck. Anything earlier than the afternoon is jailbait.

work/play

2008-08-28T10:48:00.000-05:00

i asked Him what it all means. He said "it's for the queen." i said "we killed the queen."

L.I.F.E.

2008-08-27T21:12:00.000-05:00

Feels like dust on my back.

box of hearts

2008-08-24T17:28:00.001-05:00

it would be smarter to put it in the larder.

I didn't check his pockets

2008-08-24T17:00:00.000-05:00

I know you can't stand it. I know you know I planned it.

Space Kampf

2008-08-24T16:38:00.001-05:00

Its not gonna be great. Its not. Its not. Here watch.

You're Bread to Me

2008-08-24T15:36:00.000-05:00

And you can shove those 3 tickets right up your ass.

Cock's Net

2008-08-24T11:56:00.001-05:00

A funny story to lighten the mood: use lubricant when fornicating with dead people. Unless they drowned, in which case they may still be moist.

A door is a gun

2008-08-23T20:42:00.000-05:00

i left and when i came back everything was the same and terrible just like i wanted and then things got good and i got mad and now everything's fine and broken just like i hate it.

Hungry Lung

2008-08-16T11:30:00.000-05:00

Unsupported allegations.

A Video I could have done myself

2008-08-09T21:40:00.000-05:00

Just call back tomorrow. I'm gonna put this off until tomorrow, that's right.

Watch it

2008-08-09T21:25:00.003-05:00

What a sickening day. I learned nothing from this. I didn't even learn how to scream louder.

Strum 'n Drang nabbit

2008-08-06T20:36:00.000-05:00

One good deed a day. I don't have room for one good deed a day.

Insta-Whirl

2008-08-04T15:40:00.001-05:00

"you're going to listen to me this time. it's going to be different this time. you wont get away. not this time."

"what?"

How is he? He's a prick.

2008-08-04T13:32:00.000-05:00

we are devo. d-e-v-o. it's spelled "dee eee vee ooo." we sing songs about girls and drinking. we don't sing at all. we are devo.

Hunkus

2008-08-03T14:29:00.000-05:00

Wham! Right into a pole. Who is the motherfucker now? The answer is you.

I wish it was personal this time, but you won't let me get close

2008-08-02T16:18:00.000-05:00

instead of waving, they just sorta squatted at each other.

Derivative

2008-08-02T16:02:00.001-05:00

Bourbon for everyone! (poison for everyone in the bourbon)

yOUR cAPS lOCK kEY iS oN, wERE yOU aWARE?

2008-08-02T12:06:00.001-05:00

why are you always so married all the time?

Horse Battles

2008-08-02T10:48:00.001-05:00

I need water in Spanish.

Hole Foods

2008-08-01T23:46:00.001-05:00

It might be funny if we took a class or a picture together. We could get by real good like that. Where are you going. Come back.

Blue's Cooze

2008-08-01T23:20:00.001-05:00

Then they were in business and business was good.

Crimson

2008-08-01T21:27:00.000-05:00

You squeal so loudly. I tell everyone that. Very loudly.

My sons, my sins

2008-08-01T14:17:00.000-05:00

i used a butcher knife. her eyes didn't close, her smile didn't fade.

My sin was bashfulness

2008-08-01T14:08:00.000-05:00

I tried to ride a greyhound but they don't make saddles in my size.

Clap Track

2008-07-30T20:43:00.001-05:00

Effortless.

This door is very very closed

2008-07-30T19:27:00.001-05:00

so, have you played around with this thing? you should. it's good for a lot more than just lookin' at.

Do you all think that you are prepared for all that might come your way?

2008-07-26T23:50:00.001-05:00

Just put on a shitty techno song and grind her ass against your crotch until you're fully erect. That's why God made sadness.

Orson Welles Syndrome

2008-07-26T23:11:00.000-05:00

Here's why you should hire me.

Blow Job City

2008-07-26T23:09:00.000-05:00

These truths are self-evident; you shouldn't shoot the president. I know that you're hesitant to not shoot the president. Let's set a precedent and not shoot the president.

Zombie Weapons

2008-07-26T20:15:00.000-05:00

I'm gonna move, I'm just so comfortable here.

I sweat you sweat me

2008-07-26T16:04:00.001-05:00

There is a period at the end of this sentence

My hands are dirty

2008-07-26T15:52:00.000-05:00

I've never practiced or rehearsed anything in my life and you can see that in my work.

Authentic Death

2008-07-26T14:55:00.001-05:00

It takes a big man to admit he made a mistake, and I'm the biggest man there is. Obese with errors.

Parade!

2008-07-26T11:43:00.000-05:00

Refreshments around the back.

Gentle Violins will Play You to Sleep

2008-07-26T11:21:00.000-05:00

There's nothing wrong with sincerity, as long as you spin it the right way.

Rebel Rubble

2008-07-25T22:35:00.001-05:00

he said "don't say things like that" and i said them all again.

Contemplation

2008-07-25T12:24:00.001-05:00

Sometimes I'll listen to music I hate and think of you.

Throat Goat

2008-07-24T15:05:00.000-05:00

I can't speak in tongues, but I can write "blippidy blagg blop blip zigga zing fap pop" really well.

When I was 15

2008-07-22T20:39:00.000-05:00

If the singer is a crook, don't trust him with your song.

Back in

2008-07-22T19:57:00.001-05:00

I could hit that note. I could hit you.

Squirk

2008-07-22T18:32:00.001-05:00

You look better than you did yesterday. What an improvement a night with me makes.

What the fuck have you done

2008-07-20T19:40:00.000-05:00

What the fuck have you done

Not much chance of survival

2008-07-20T17:09:00.000-05:00

A great cacophany of voices all tearing their throats apart trying to find each other in the great big darkness. Thats what sleeping is like for me.

Free Jail

2008-07-20T14:46:00.000-05:00

Move over once. Move over twice. Move further away from me.

I am just worried sick

2008-07-20T14:37:00.000-05:00

i think i left the lawnmower running. in the refrigerator. with the ferret. and all that everclear. and the spontaneous combust-o-matic. oh, and your mom.

A Tall Glass of Vinegar

2008-07-20T14:11:00.000-05:00

i go for the good kinds of things: the best felt tip markers, the thickest gauges of wires, the sharpest switchblades, the most concentrated detergents, the whitest sheets, the quickest trash compactor, the blackest nights, the most secluded dumping grounds.