You weren't invited because I loved you so

I wish you were more scared, because I am scared and I think it's weird that you aren't scared at all. It makes me think that you are too stupid to be scared, and that scares me.

These times are dwindling times

What'd I tell you? Dogdammit. I hate you.

4. This jelldier

I am in love with this dog. Look at its face! I can't STAND it. Up and died!

i didn't do it

Turn that frown (oh, and also every single thing in your office) upside down.

Where's your head at?

Sustainable hamburgers.

Hordes/Horns/Audrey/Horndog/AppleCore

don't you fucking dare say "Baltimore," you worthless waste of a chipmunk.

Ralph Nadir

they oughta call you footlong.

killing dreams since 1982

Nothing makes me hate people like people.

A Comprehensive List of Unlawful Activities According to the Laws of the United States of America and All Its Subsidiaries, Enemies, and Protectorates

I love caffeine. I love daggers. I love paint thinner. I love full bathtubs. I love toasters.

Follow through to the back of the skull

i'm not listening to you because i am a website and i don't have ears and you are a crazy person anyways.

Llama? Alpaca even know her!

Let's cut school and ride a roller coaster.

this drone could go on forever and i'd...never mind.

hum if you don't know the words.

Past a wasted pastor

love does and doesn't have to end up bloody.

Come plane

Bitchin' moan.

dis pair

there's always next year?

Everybody is a complete fucking jerk

You are a complete fucking jerk.

They're sideways over there, right

aaaaaaand i just don't care one root-scoot-tootin' hoot. no, about that other thing.

Powder Outage Causes Shiny-Nosed Outrage

if you're in utero, you are very stupid and can't talk.

Rooster Blocked

Here's an idea! Eat shit, die, and come over for dinner when you're done with the shit-eating and dying. It'll be more fun than that time when I beat the living shit out of you. And that was fucking FUN.

you're a fixture in my least favorite scene

when i tasted you i spit you out. you were delicious.